Adventures of a Shockingly Average 30-Something

It's so weird to think that less than a month from now, most of my friends from Potsdam will be back up there... and I won't.  I plan on going up and visiting a few times - the drag show, the Pride parade if they do that again, my girlfriend's formal for her sorority - but as a student, I'm done there.  And that is so, so, so crazy.  Five years in college, and now I'm (nearly) done. Nearly?  Yeah... I have to take a stupid world history class - a 100 level class - before I can get my diploma.  A freaking 100 level class is keeping me from officially graduating.  Thanks, Potsdam!  I'm taking it online this fall.  So even though I've already walked across the stage, I don't technically graduate until December of this year.  And I've REALLY got to start looking at grad school, but I don't even know what I want to get my master's in!  I've been saying I want to get my master's in special education, but that's solely because I've...

Dear you, I'm not writing your name, yet I can't entirely pick a reason as to why not.  Part of me wants it to be so no one knows this is about you, but I've written on here about you before, so I suppose it wouldn't be that hard to figure it out.  And people who know me in real life, people who I either was or still am friends with, who were our mutual friends even though I was always (more than) slightly convinced they were simply your  friends who merely tolerated me, they'll know.  It sounds so dumb to say, I know, but I was surprised when I remained friends with some of them after we fell apart.  It was my fault.  It must have been, because the same thing happened at Potsdam with a different guy.  No, not the same.  Not exactly.  I never kissed you.  And I was never afraid of him.  Even after he and I fell apart, I never suddenly couldn't breathe because I thought I saw him.  He was never the one I was hiding from in my ...