Adventures of a Shockingly Average 30-Something

I'm one step closer to achieving my dream.  I'm one step closer to student teaching in Australia. I've completed nearly everything for the application process.  I'm waiting on one of my teachers to turn in a letter of recommendation.  After that teacher turns that in for me, I just have to (in this order): 1. See my advisor so she can sign my application. 2. See the 2 people in charge of "School Partnerships and Teacher Certification" so they can sign my application. 3. Turn in my application. 4. Wait. This is going to happen.  I can feel it.  I've worked too hard for things to not happen.

People who know me know that I am not a religious person.  I don't believe in any sort of God, and in general I tend to be rather distrusting of religion.  How can you believe in something if there's no tangible evidence of its existence?  I'm almost sort of jealous of people who unquestioningly believe in some sort of higher power, because I can't do that.  I'm not denying the existence of any God; I'm simply saying that I personally don't believe in one.  If you believe in God, any God, cool.  If you don't, also cool.  I'm not trying to get into a religious argument; maybe someday, I might find a religion I agree with.  Maybe someday, I might identify myself with some sort of religion.  I don't know. But it's things like what happened today that make me question the existence of a higher... something. I've written before about how I do  believe that there are signs pointing us in the right direction and telling us where we're su...

Remember how last semester I spent four weeks in a first grade classroom?  This semester, I'll be spending six weeks in a fourth grade classroom. I found out my placement earlier today - fourth grade - and I'm so excited! I thought I would feel nervous, you know, about being with (slightly) older students.  They're going to be a lot older than my first graders.  I thought I would be nervous, completely freaking out, but I'm not.  Maybe it's because I know I still have a month before I'll be in the classroom.  Maybe being in the classroom last semester has given me more confidence.  Maybe I'm more comfortable with myself right now than I have been in the past.  Maybe I've grown up some. Even though I don't want to work with older students, having the opportunity to will only be beneficial.  When I student teach, I don't know what grade I will be placed in.  If I get a job subbing for a school district, I don't know what grade I will end ...

I've been thinking about grad school.  I've come to the (terrifying) realization that I have no idea what I want to get my Master's Degree in, and also no idea as to where I want to go. The only thing I'm completely one-hundred percent sure of is that I don't want to stay at Potsdam.  I love this school so much.  I love the people here.  I love the whole atmosphere of the school.  I feel safe here.  There's so much about being here that I love, but at the same time... I've been screwed over again and again and again here, and I'm sick and tired of it.  So, as much as I love it here and as much as I've grown as a person here, I honestly feel like the best thing to do right now (well not RIGHT NOW, but after this year) is to leave. But what do I do after I leave?  That's the point I'm at right now. I thought about joining the Peace Corps, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I think I want to stay in New York because I don't w...