Adventures of a Shockingly Average 30-Something

Goodbye 2012, hello 2013. I don't even know what I did in 2012... - I tried to take a picture everyday , but that lasted about two months before I gave up on it. - I spent way too much time being angry.  Too much time being bored. - I did the cinnamon challenge. - I got more interested in photography . - I let myself get way too stressed out over school, and got the good grades to prove it. - I lost a friend , but that friendship had been heading south for a while.  I had to let it go.  I was just getting myself hurt trying to keep that friendship what it once was, but it was one-sided and painful.  It was way past time to let go. - I made awesome new friends! - I saw James Taylor in concert with my grandma, which really wasn't that  bad.  Even though I don't really like most of his music. - I was more active in the clubs I'm in at school, especially Harry Potter Alliance.  I helped ou...

Oh hey, I'm FINALLY considered a senior. And I have 100 completed hours at college. And 90% done with my degree. Buttttt I still have two years until I'm done.  Next semester (Spring 2013)- Blocks 1, the semester after that (Fall 2013)- Blocks 2, the semester after that (Spring 2014)- student teaching, and then the semester after that (Fall 2014)-Finishing up the last few classes I'll still have to take (because with your blocks classes, you can only do 1 other class. So I'll have like 3 classes I still need and then I'll just end up taking like 2 other random classes so I have enough credits to be a fulltime student). And then I have to get my masters, which I read is gonna take 2-3 years to do. 4 or 5 more years of school left. I'm 21 years old.  Which means I won't be done with school until I'm either 25 or 26. Does thinking about the future ever terrify you?  Because I know it can't be just me.  There's so much a...

I can't wait for this semester to end.  I'm sick and tired of people.  I'm tired of the way people act towards each other.  I'm tired of drama.  Honestly, I'm just tired .  I want to go home and be home and sleep in my own bed.  I want home cooked food.  I want to see my mom.  I want to play with my cat and cuddle with him and sleep in my bed at night with him curled up next to me.  I want to lounge around and do nothing.  I want to not have to worry about school or homework or anything.  I want to be away from people.  I want to see my friends.  I want... to be home.  Typical end of the semester finals week feelings, I guess.

My roommate and I went to the Union today to go grab something for lunch.  The table we sat at was right next to a table where four black (what's the PC term? Black? African American??) students were sitting. It's not that we were eavesdropping, it's that we were sitting next to their table and they weren't exactly being quiet with their conversation. They were complaining (loudly) about how racist all the white people on this campus are, talking about how they're excluded.  Yet, in general, from what I've seen, they exclude themselves .  It's something my friends and I have talked about before, because we've realized it before.  If you go to the Union during Late Night to get mozzarella sticks, poutine, a hamburger, etc., you'll see it.  They all sit together.  They're all always together.  I'm not trying to be racist, and I'm trying to figure a way to word everything without sounding racist..  One of the things they said was ...

Dear Candis, I don't know what to write to you. Not on here, I mean.  I promised you I'd write you a letter.  A real letter.  So you could get your very own mail at your new house.  But I don't know what to write to you.  I don't know what to say.  Your mommy sent me a text message today, telling me how excited you are, waiting for your letter from me.  So I have to write you one, soon , but Candis, I don't know what to say. Should I tell you how much I miss you?  Should I tell you how great it was to talk to you again the other day?  How even though it's been more than a year and a half now, I could still "see" every look on your little face?  Should I tell you how good things are here?  Should I tell you how I might get the chance to go all the way to Australia in a couple of years?  Should I ask you how things are there?  Should I ask you to write me back?  Should I tell you how much I wish I could go vi...

I know you can't spend your life living in the past, but I really really really miss my floor from last year.  I miss my friends from last year.  I miss the way things were here last year. Last year, my floor was all so close to each other -- with a couple exceptions, which, looking back now, really weren't that bad.  There was stupid drama, but at least last year I felt like I fit in somewhere. This year... I really don't feel like I fit in here any more.  I have a couple friends in some of my classes.  Not friends .  Not yet.  More like, I have a couple people I'm ok at talking to.  Last year, I fit in so perfectly on my floor, with those people.  At least, I felt like I did.  This year, everyone one my floor kinda keeps to themselves.  I don't know anyone, except for my roommate and 2 people I met last year.  And it seems like no one on this floor even wants to be friends.  I'm so incredibly, embarrassingl...

Summer is FINALLY over!!!! I head back up to school tomorrow morning, and honestly, you don't even know how excited I am!  I cannot wait!! :D

I know there's two sides to every story. I know my side. But sometimes... sometimes I wonder what his side of it was. I know how I felt.  What I don't know is how he felt.  I know how hurt and broken and sad and upset and angry I was at the end of it and after I (rather immaturely) ended it - our friendship.  I remember how happy I was hanging out with him sometimes.  But then I also remember how scared I was when he yelled or got mad at other people.  I remember the look in his eyes when he was mad at someone else and was trying not to let it show, and I remember how much that look scared me inside.  But I remember the happy times too, when I let myself. I don't know what he remembers of our friendship.  Our... whatever it was.  Whatever there was between us.  I don't know if I every cross his mind.  I don't know if he knows that I still freak out inside when I'm on that side of the river, how scared I am that I'll...

Dear Candis, I was thinking. Maybe January, ok? I have to talk to your mommy first, and I have to figure things (like money to get there...) out. But if you guys do move closer, then maybe I might be able to go visit you guys for (possibly) a weekend. I can't promise though. It's all just maybes right now. Love, your Kimberly

My grandma and I went to Tanglewood last night to see James Taylor in concert. But this post starts a couple of days before the concert.  It starts at the end of June, the 28th or 29th. My grandma called me to say she heard from one of the people who works on the boat my grandfather captains that Taylor Swift was going to have a concert at Tanglewood, and she wanted me to find out more information.  So I went on the Tanglewood website, and found concerts for James Taylor... not Taylor Swift.    I thought my grandma had somehow confused the two.  So she said never mind about it, but I kept looking stuff up after we hung up the phone.  And I found that Taylor Swift would be playing with James Taylor, but I was uncertain on a date.  See, one article I read said she'd be there on the 2nd.  Another said the 4th.  Another said all three days - the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th.  Then I found another saying the 4th.  And then another for the 2nd....

Sometimes - a lot of the time, actually - I think of how I should  speak up and say something.  But instead, I just get quiet and kind of take myself out of the conversation. Today, I went to my sister's graduation party/moving-up-from-8th-grade party for my cousin.  So from 2 in the afternoon until I got home around 9:30ish, I was around too many 12 - 18 year olds to count.  The majority of the kids were my cousins' friends, so 13-15 year olds.  And I got to listen to them talking to each other in that [sarcasm] oh-so- wonderful [/sarcasm] way ~14 year old kids do. "You're so retarded!" "God you're such a f**king retard!" "Pick him last, he plays like a retard." "Hahaha look at him playing on that digger thing like a retard." "Look at the boys walking on top of the monkey bars.  They're so retarded, they're gonna fall." "Just go under the water and it won't feel as cold.   Everyone knows that, ...

Dear you, I'm sorry I'm not good enough to be your friend.  I'm sorry I've never been good enough.  I'm sorry I tried.  I'm sorry I wasted so many years trying so hard to be a good friend, when it turns out that we're apparently only friends if no one has to know we're friends.  I'm sorry I'm the friend you turn to when everyone else is busy.  I'm sorry all of our sleepovers and all the secrets we shared and all the memories and everything don't mean anything to you.  I'm sorry those BEST FRIENDS key chains we got in middle school, that I still have, don't mean anything.  I'm sorry for all the times I was the only one who was there for you.  I'm sorry the fact that I've always been there for you even if you haven't been there for me only meant something to me.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry. I want to be done.  I wish I could be done.  But I can't.  Because this is the ...

So what to say........... It's been forever and a day and a half since I last posted anything here.  Yeah. Um... Oh! Grades were FINALLY posted.  I did WAY better than I did in the fall. 4.0 in School Health 4.0 in Math for Elementary Ed. 1 3.7 in Young Adult Lit 3.7 in Children's Lit 3.0 in European History and Geography S in Cooperative Activities (the gym class I took).  S is good, in case you were wondering.  In gym classes, you don't get an actual grade; you either get Satisfactory (pass) or Unsatisfactory (fail).  So I passed it. 3.65 GPA for the semester, which is REALLY good!  And 3.34 overall, which isn't too  bad, but I'll get it up higher because I'll do good in my classes next semester too. So yeah.  Home for the summer.  Not so sure how I feel about this.  I don't want to argue with my mom the whole summer, and I'm trying so hard not to argue with anyone about anything.  I hate fighting and arguing. ...

I had a presentation to do in my Children's Lit class this morning.  I was doing a cut story (a story telling method, where you tell a story and as you go, you cut out pictures of things in the story).  I was prepared.  I knew the book ( The Hungry Fox and the Foxy Duck ) by heart.  I knew what I had to do.  I had the timing all figured out for cutting out the pictures.  I was so  ready to do it. I woke up this morning wide awake and ready to present.  As I was getting dressed, brushing my teeth, you know all the getting ready in the morning stuff, I kept going through the story in my head. I walked to class, and as I walked I was saying the story out loud to myself.  I did it a couple times, and didn't mess up.  I had this.  I was going to do fine. I got to class, went to my seat.  I was feeling a little nervous, but not bad.  I knew the story.  I knew what I had to do.  I was going to do fine. My n...

*** I WROTE THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO.  I posted it on my Tumblr after I finished writing it (it took me about 4 or 5 days to write because I kept having to stop.)  I just wanted to post it on here too.  I wrote it while I was reading a book called By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead  by Julie Anne Peters, and for my lit circle project for Young Adult Lit for that class, I chose to do the connector essay, where I connected my life and society in general to the book.  This isn't my essay for class, but this is what I wrote to kind of organize my thoughts and my own experiences with bullying before I wrote the essay.  In my Health class, we have to write an essay where bullying occurred in our own lives, and that got me to thinking about this again, which is why I wanted to post it again. *** I’m reading By The Time You Read This, I’ll Be Dead .  It’s not the first time I’ve read this book, but it really gets to me every single time I read it....

I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you. I can't even say it enough times. I just miss you, ok?  I'm ok writing this because I'm pretty sure you won't read it anyway.  And if you do, you won't know it's you.  Maybe.  You might, actually. I can't wait until I'm home for the summer and I can see you again.  I love hanging out with you.  I love spending time with you.  You can always get me to smile, and I love that.  And I hope I can make you smile too. I was looking through pictures on facebook yesterday, at silly pictures we took together.  I smiled and laughed at the memory.  Smiled at what you wrote in my high school yearbook, remembered that too. Ok, this is Taylor Swift lyrics, but they're true, ok?  "I'm only up when you're not down / don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground / it's like no matter what I do" and then from later in the song "I'm only me / who I wanna be / Well I'm o...

So.  Respect.  I say we have a little talk about it. People always tell you to respect your elders and whatnot, which, most of the time is fine.  Ok?  Most of the time, ok.  BUT.  I don't care  how much older than me someone is.  If you treat me with respect, I'll treat you with respect.  It's really that simple.  But some people, some , not all, some people seem to think that they don't have to give respect to get it in return, and I'm sorry, but it really doesn't work that way. One group of people who I respect are teachers.  I respect them so much.  They work so hard.  They have to jump through so many hoops with the administrators and everything.  They plan lessons and teach kids who, for the most part, would give anything to not have to be there.  Good teachers care about their students so much.  I look up to my teachers.  I respect people who teach. But there's an exception.  Lis...

Someone on my floor said that people at community colleges are rejects. And he said that teachers at community colleges are only teaching there because they couldn't get a job at a "real" college. Ummm.... how about no? The ignorance of some people never ceases to amaze me. I did two years at a community college before transferring to the school I'm at now. I didn't go to a community college because I was rejected by other schools. Truth of the matter is that I went there because I slacked off my senior year and kept procrastinating applying anywhere ("I've still got time... I've still got time...") until finally I realized it was about April and I hadn't applied anywhere , which was just about the biggest "Oh crap I messed up big time!" moment of my life. But you know what? I'm glad I did two years there. Now that I'm here, at a four year school, I realize that I probably would not have been able to handle this right ...