Adventures of a Shockingly Average 30-Something

Dad, Can I be honest for just one minute?  Honest with you.  Honest with myself.  Honest with whoever is reading this.  What I'm going to say isn't easy to say, but I feel like - I really feel like - I need to say it. Dad... sometimes... I try to forget.  And sometimes, it's so easy to do.  Sometimes I just tell myself that you're busy and that's why it's been so long since we talked.  Sometimes I dream that I talked to you recently, and I try to convince myself it was real life so I can keep on trying to forget.  It sounds bad to say, but I think I spent more time on the phone with you than I did with you.  And so I try to pretend that we both are just so busy with our lives that we just haven't had the time to call each other.  I still half expect my phone to ring sometimes at night, when you would have gotten home from work, or in the middle of the day, when you would be getting lunch, and for you to be on the other end when I ans...

Dad, I want to completely avoid Father's Day this year.  Is that bad of me?  I want to avoid it.  To forget about it.  For it to be just any other day.  I don't want dinner with Pop or Uncle Farhan or Pete.  I just want... that day to not be here.  Is that selfish?  I'm so sorry.  I don't want to be selfish.  But at the same time, I don't want to face a Father's Day without you.  I don't want to not be able to call you and hear your voice. As the day gets closer, I'm realizing that it's going to be harder than I thought it would be to avoid it.  There's still three weeks until that day, and just tonight, I saw two facebook statuses about it.  God, as it gets closer, there's just going to be more.  The Father's Day displays are up in the stores.  Am I supposed to just completely avoid Walmart? I don't want to hear people telling other people "Happy Father's Day!"  I don't want to say it to Pop or Pete o...

I had no interest in walking the stage at graduation. I would have been perfectly happy to simply get my diploma in the mail -- that's what happens anyway, you don't get your diploma when you walk across the stage. They mail it to you after the fact. A huge part of the reason I did is because I know my dad wanted me to. At my high school graduation Walking to where all the graduates were supposed to meet on the morning of graduation, I was thinking about how nice it was that everyone was up for the graduation. I was thinking about how great it was going to be to see Cody and Hailey, and my step-mom and my dad and... wait... no... And then there were tears. In my cap and gown, cold in the 40-ish degree weather, tears formed in my eyes and threatened to fall down my face and ruin the make-up my best friend had done for me. Oh, please, please do not cry right now! I begged of myself. I stopped and took a minute to breathe. I looked up at the clear blue sky, and kne...

Today, I completed a journey in my life.  A journey that took 5 years (2 at a community college, then 3 at SUNY Potsdam).  Today, May 18th, 2014, I graduated Magna Cum Laude (a 3.73 GPA) from SUNY Potsdam, with a Bachelor's degree in Childhood/Early Childhood Education. The three years at Potsdam were three of the best years of my life.  I had an amazing time at that college, and I am so glad I chose to go there to get my degree. The next step in my life?  I have honestly no idea.  After months of consideration, I chose to take a year off of school before going on to obtain my Master's degree.  I want to get my Master's in Special Education, and while I am looking at several different schools, I am very interested in SUNY Oneonta.  But this year that I won't be in school?  I have no idea what I will be doing with this year.  I think I am going to apply to be a substitute in my local school district so that I have more time in the class...