Adventures of a Shockingly Average 30-Something

Someone on my floor said that people at community colleges are rejects. And he said that teachers at community colleges are only teaching there because they couldn't get a job at a "real" college. Ummm.... how about no? The ignorance of some people never ceases to amaze me. I did two years at a community college before transferring to the school I'm at now. I didn't go to a community college because I was rejected by other schools. Truth of the matter is that I went there because I slacked off my senior year and kept procrastinating applying anywhere ("I've still got time... I've still got time...") until finally I realized it was about April and I hadn't applied anywhere , which was just about the biggest "Oh crap I messed up big time!" moment of my life. But you know what? I'm glad I did two years there. Now that I'm here, at a four year school, I realize that I probably would not have been able to handle this right ...

Hey my Nathan! I just wanted to tell you happy birthday! And that I love you and miss you so much. You're my little best friend, and you're always gonna be. I love you so much, bud. I'm sorry I didn't get to see you while I was home this time, and I'm sorry it's been so long since I've seen you. I think last time was when I was home for Thanksgiving break, which was a longggg time ago. But! I can't believe you're 5!! Nathan, you were just barely two when I met you. You were an adorable little kid who wanted to be my best friend just because I was wear a SpongeBob t-shirt. I remember when you were about two-and-a-half, and you had just mastered the ABC's song, and you sang it for me again and again and again because you were just so proud of yourself. I was proud of you too, bud. And I remember teaching you and Candis and TT "Ring Around The Rosie." You learned it so fast! And you loved doing it, especially the "all f...

Happy birthday, Candis! I can NOT believe you're three already, baby girl. You're making me so old! haha. Anyways, little princess, I hope you're having the best day ever today, and that you got what you wanted for your birthday. I'm glad you like the outfit I got you, and the sunglasses look SO cute on you. I love you and I miss you and I hope you're having an amazing day.

Why does it feel like my grandma is the only one who really sees me when I'm at home? It's like she's the only one who notices anything at all. Like today at lunch, for example. We (just my grandma and I) went out to lunch at Spring Garden, which I swear on my life has the BEST Chinese food I've ever had in my life. Grandma: Why are you so angry here? What's going on? me: I just hate it here. I hate being back here. Grandma: Ok, but why? It's like you've got some unresolved issue you need to solve. To get out.. to... some issue that just needs to come out. me: I just... I... they (my mom and sister) always make me so mad. I can't even like deal with it sometimes. Grandma: Like what? me: They pick on me. And I tell them to stop and they don't and then I react and they get mad. But isn't it not even my fault? If they don't, then why should they be mad at me for reacting? Grandma: They do it because they know you react. Just ignore th...

Why is it that whenever I'm home, I'm just angry? I'm so tired of being angry. I'm tired of being mad at everyone. I hate being here. At school, with my friends, anywhere except for at home, I'm happy and hyper and silly and everything... but at home, I'm quiet and angry and my spirit just feels so crushed. :(

In my history class today, the teacher called us all stupid. Well, actually, he told us all that we make stupid mistakes and if we want to do better in the class then we need to stop making such stupid mistakes. I, along with many others in the class took that to mean he was calling us stupid. Naturally I, and many others in class, were (and still are) extremely angry about this, because what teacher calls their class stupid?! Who says that? I had a conversation with a friend today, after class. This friend is in my class, so he heard what the teacher said, and took the teacher's words the same way I did. Me: Who does that?! What kind of a teacher does that??? You can't do that! A teacher can't call their kids stupid! Friend: Well, you can't call kids stupid, just because they'll cry for the rest of the day if you do. Me: Kids aren't stupid! Friend: You just can't call them that. Me: No, kids are so smart! SO smart. Friend: Well not kids with disa...

All people ever do is disappoint you. There's no point in making plans because they'll just get cancelled anyway. There's no point in looking forward to something because it won't happen. And there's no point in getting close to anyone because all people ever do is leave. I wish I was a kitten. Everyone loves kittens.