I miss...

I miss Nathan and Trisha so much. And Candis. But I know I'll see Nathan and TT soon; I don't know when, or if, I'll see Candis again. I don't think anyone knows just how hard it was for me to write that sentence, to write down that I don't even know if I'll see Candis again. My princess. I'm not giving up hope that she'll be at her grandmother's house again someday. It's been just over seven months now, since I've seen her. It's SO hard not being a part of her life anymore; I don't think anyone really truly understands that. I was such a huge part of her life since she was born, then her parents and her moved away.. and then came back, and I was a big part in her life again; and she was a big part of my life. She was pretty much my baby sometimes, that's how it felt. And now it's been seven months since her mom and her moved to Florida. Seven months since I've seen her.

I still have the Dora and Tinkerbell stickers on my laptop. I don't care what anyone says about them, they're from Candis and TT, so I'm keeping them on it.

I'm sitting here, in my dorm room, alone. I was doing homework, but I got bored of that. And also, I don't know how to do my physics homework and my friend who I was going to ask for help from wasn't in his room. So I'm waiting for him to get back so I can ask for help.

And, for some reason, it just really hit me a few minutes ago how insanely crazy much I miss the kids. October break is in about 2 weeks, and I'll get to see them then. *sigh* I wish October break would get here sooner. I miss them so much. I love it here, but I miss them.

When I see them again, I'm going to give them the biggest hugs ever. I have to talk to Nathan, and ask him how Pre-K is going. Talk to Trisha about whatever she wants to talk about. Play ball with them. Run around with them. Maybe take them up to the park, if it's warm enough. Lots of hugs and kisses and I love yous.

I mean, I miss my mom and sister and grandparents too... but it's like... it's like it's so much harder being away from Nathan and TT for a long time than it is being away from mom and Nikki and grandma and pop. And I think that's because kids grow up so fast. You go away for a bit and you miss SO much. Nikki and mom and my grandparents are still going to be the same people they were when I left. But the kids, it's almost as if they won't be. It's been just about a month since I've last seen them, which is the longest I've gone without seeing them. And they've probably grown up so much since I left a month ago.

I miss them. So much.

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