A Whole New World

I am dating a girl.  A wonderful, fantastic girl who I adore.  We've been together for just about two months now.  So... why haven't I said anything about her on here before?  Truth is... I was scared.  But scared of what?  Why should I be afraid?  Why should I hide something someone who makes me so incredibly happy?  Truth is... I shouldn't.


I love spending time with her.  I love being around her.  I love her smile and her laugh.  I love talking to her and cuddling with her.  Back a few months ago, when I had a slightly-more-than-friends sort of thing going on with another friend of mine, I was so confused because when we and I kissed, I never got that "first kiss" feeling you read about and see in the movies.  You know the feeling I mean - the way Hollywood and young adult authors describe that first kiss.  They make you think it's supposed to be magical.  It's supposed to feel electrifying.  You're supposed to hear music and bells and whistles.  It's supposed to feel like fireworks and magic, a feeling you never want to forget for as long as you live.  With him, I never felt that.  It was nice and it was fun, but it wasn't what I thought it was supposed to be.  I felt like I'd done something wrong, like I was wrong because of that.  But with her?  That wasn't just the first kiss feeling.  It's an every time we kiss feeling.  It's the best feeling.

I went to her sorority's formal with her.  Together.  As a date.  And do you know what?  It felt fantastic to know that the people there knew and accepted and really didn't care that the two of us were together.  My college is super gay, which is nice because it helps.  You know?  It helps that I can see other LGBT couples who are out and together and seeing that no one cares.  It's just another couple.  And that's the way it should be.  But I know that the real world still isn't completely there yet.  It will be though, someday.  The people I go to school with, the people who live in my city, they show me that the world will catch up someday.


I spent so long being afraid of this part of myself, when I would have been so much happier if I'd just accepted it long ago, rather than trying so hard to pretend to be someone I never have been.  Being with her has shown me, and is still showing me, that it's so much easier to be myself than it was to hide myself.  I'm so unbelievably happy with her.


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