Dear (you) Love (me)

Dear (your name),

I know you'll never read this. How do I know? Because I'll never send it to you. If you see it, if you read it, if you know it's about you and from me, I'll deny it. But I just wanted to say this all to you. Please read it. Please just know. I'm begging you.

Sometimes I wish you were more aware of my existence. Actually, no. Not just sometimes. All the time. I know you know I exist. We've talked a couple times before. We don't talk that often, but I remember every conversation we've every had. That day you told me you liked my hair cut, and it took me like 30 seconds to say something back to you, I wasn't tired or out of it like I said and we laughed about. No, I was just so amazed that you could like the way I look. You, you're a goddess walking on this earth. There is no other human being on this planet with the same incredible beauty as you. That's a big thing to say, I know, but you don't even know how true it is. It shocked me that someone more gorgeous than Megan Fox, someone with more captivating eyes than Oliva Wilde, someone like you, could think someone like me had a "cute" hair cut. You made my day.

I could count our face-to-face conversations on one hand. I don't know if that's just sad, that I'm this crazy about you when we're only had less than five real conversations in our lives... or if I should consider myself lucky that you've talked to me as much as you have. Almost every conversation we're had, I've managed to make you laugh. I love your laugh, did you know that? You've got this amazing hold on me. Anything you told me to do, I would do it in a heart beat. I hardly know you, but I would defend you to the death.

I hate you for how you make me feel. I'm sorry. What I feel for you, it's so real. You're taking over my life, and you don't even know it. I think about you at least once a day. When the mirrors in the bathroom are all fogged up, I write your initials and put a heart around them. Every time I have a new notification on facebook, I hope it's from you. Every time I get a text, I hope it's from you... but you don't even have my number, so I know it can't be from you. God, I sound so pathetic right now. I've never felt this way before. Yeah, I've liked people before and yeah, I've dated people before... but I've never felt like this. I've dated three guys, and being with them was like being friends with them. With the exception of one of them, there was no magic, no spark. It felt more like a chore than anything else, like I had to be with them. I tell people I'm single because I want to be. But that's a lie. I want so badly to be with someone, but I never seem to like the right people. So I just say I want to be single, hoping that maybe someday I'll start to believe it. What I feel about you is something so new to me, so unfamiliar, so... scary. I wish I never met you. I wish I never knew you existed. But I'm so glad we met. I'm so glad we know each other.

Every status update you post on facebook, I want to click on "like" just because you posted it and I like you. But I don't do that because you'd probably start to think I was a little weird or something. I'm not that weird, I don't think anyway, I promise. I want to "like" every picture you post, because you always look so good. I really do like every picture you have up; I don't think it's even possible for you to take a bad picture.

I wish more than anything that I knew how you felt, but only if you liked me back at least a little. If you don't, then I'm happy not knowing. But I'm in love with you. You're a few years older than me, more experienced and everything, but I don't care. I know what love is. And I love you.

Love (my name)