Notice me. Please.

Every single time I'm in the same room as her, the only thought in my mind is "Notice me. Notice me. NOTICE ME!" Hoping, praying, wishing on an imaginary shooting star, that maybe, maybe, maybe she'll say hi to me. Hoping she'll say anything to me.

Now she tutors at one of the same times I tutor at. And, I mean, she talked to me. For half a second. There were no tables left to tutor at, so she said I could sit at her table with her. When someone showed up for me to tutor, it was so hard to because she was sitting right there. Like right across the table from me. I was so.... I don't even know. I was trying not to notice her. Trying to pay more attention to my tutee. Trying to pretend that I don't like her, that my mind didn't go blank just because she'd said I could share the table with her.

One of her (guy) friends came in, and she greeted him with a smile and a hug, and I was so jealous. I'm kind of friends with this guy too, but not really good friends. More like we're both tutors, we both get along with each other, we talk to each other, but we're not like good friends or whatever. And I greet my friends with a hug too sometimes... God I was so insanely jealous of him. It's not fair.

Dear my heart,
GET OVER HER.
You will NEVER have her. Ever.
Move on. Please?
Because this constant wanting of the unreachable is getting quite painful.
Love, my common sense.

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