Randomness in my mind at 1 in the morning

It's Thursday night. Or, if you want to get technical about it, it's Friday morning. It's just about one in the morning. This time last week, I was doing laundry. My roommate and I had started our laundry at midnight, thinking no one else would be down there at midnight on a Thursday night. We were wrong, but oh well. And this is what I'm thinking about.

I went ice skating with some of my friends tonight, and honestly, I don't know how I've gone so long without skating. I'm not good at it, not even close to being good at it, but I love it. I haven't skated since probably around the end of September, and I've missed it. I didn't even realize how much I'd missed it until I was out on the ice again. There's something about lacing up your skates and gliding over the ice. You know? There really truly is, and I can't describe it. It's such a free feeling. There's nothing else in the entire world that matters. Your art class, the girl that you like (but of course, she's straight), the history homework you haven't finished yet, the lab group you don't like but you're stuck in anyway, the everyday drama that goes on when people are stuck with each other in a small area for a long time with everyone stressed out to their breaking points because of midterms. None of that matters. That's all so trivial, you know? It's nothing when you're out on the ice. Being out there... skating... it's the most freeing feeling because you're free to be yourself. You're free to just think. Or not think. You're free to just be because it's only the ice that matters. Honestly, the only thing I can think of that's better is swimming. I love it. I love it so much.

Another thing on my mind, is how great it can be to just talk to people. I was hanging out with one of the guys from my floor, and we were just talking and it was really great, you know? We talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Having conversations that are deep at some parts, and then there's other parts of the conversation where it really is just silly stuff. But it's all part of the conversation and at the time, even sometimes in the big picture, it all does matter. Talking... talking makes friendships. That sounded corny, I know, but it's true. I feel like these conversations like this are what bring people together. And I love that too.

I love the people on my floor. They make me smile and laugh in a way that it used to be only Nathan and Trisha and Candis could. The kids are still an important part of my life, I think they always will be, but it used to be that the majority of real smiles you would see on my face were when I was them. And I think it was partly because of how real they are, the fact that they don't ever try to be anything but themselves. And that's what the people on this floor are like. They're all themselves all the time, and we're all so strange and weird and different that it works. We have our differences yeah, and everyone has someone they're closest too, but for the most part, we're all really close. I love these people. I wouldn't get rid of any of them. I know I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again: that I really really really lucked out by getting put on this floor. I don't know what I did (in this life, or a past one) to deserve this, but whatever it was, I'm so happy for it.

Break starts officially on Tuesday, but a lot of people are leaving early. My roommate left today, and I can't even begin to describe how lonely it is in here right now I'm so used to talking and laughing and being silly with her... and without that now, it's really lonely. It's so empty, you know? At the beginning of the year, I didn't have a roommate. And I kind of liked it, but I wished I had one. I liked having privacy, but at the same time, it still took me a while to get used to the idea of not having a roommate. Then I got a roommate, who is seriously the best roommate I could have ever asked for. And I'm so happy about that. It's just really empty being the only one in here. It feels more lonely now without a roommate that at the beginning of the year without a roommate. It's a sad feeling. But I'll be home on Tuesday night, so that's good.