A lot of thinking to do.
I've been thinking about grad school. I've come to the (terrifying) realization that I have no idea what I want to get my Master's Degree in, and also no idea as to where I want to go.
The only thing I'm completely one-hundred percent sure of is that I don't want to stay at Potsdam. I love this school so much. I love the people here. I love the whole atmosphere of the school. I feel safe here. There's so much about being here that I love, but at the same time... I've been screwed over again and again and again here, and I'm sick and tired of it. So, as much as I love it here and as much as I've grown as a person here, I honestly feel like the best thing to do right now (well not RIGHT NOW, but after this year) is to leave.
But what do I do after I leave? That's the point I'm at right now.
I thought about joining the Peace Corps, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think I want to stay in New York because I don't want to pay out of state tuition, but there isn't a school I could get a Master's in special ed or as a literacy specialist in New York that is partnered with the Peace Corps and their Master's program.
New Paltz seems like the logical place to go because that's relatively close to home. It's a SUNY school. They have the two different programs I'm thinking I want to chose from.
But I'm not even sure I want to go there.
I just don't know, and I don't have that much time left to make a decision. I graduate in May. Hopefully. I need to work out something with a class I still need to take and haven't had the time to take yet.
I'm thinking about possibly getting my Master's abroad. Like maybe going to Finland or Sweden or England or Australia and getting my degree there. I've learned that Finland has the highest literacy rate in the world, and both Sweden and Finland have amazing education systems, especially for the younger grades. Doesn't it seem logical, then, to travel to either of those places and get my Master's Degree there?
Or maybe I want to take a year off. I don't know. I just don't know. Do I want to take a year and just find myself a teaching job and teach for a year, and then work on getting my Master's? Does it even make sense to do that? Financially, I think it might make sense to do that because I'll have a bit more money and I'll be able to work on starting to pay back my student loans.
But then, speaking of paying back my student loans, what if I work through Teach for America or a similar program like that? Is that the smarter route to go?
I hate having to make decisions. Small decisions are alright because, in the long run, what does it matter if we eat dinner at Lehman or the Union? Is it going to matter five years from now if I bought this t-shirt or that one? No. But big decisions? Like decisions that are going to affect my entire future? Oh my god. Because these are the kind of decisions that will matter five years from now. I need some sort of crystal ball or something to tell me what to do. I need a sign to point me in the right direction. I do believe that there are signs showing us all where to go and what we're supposed to be doing with our lives, so where's the sign? Have I seen it already? What direction was it telling me to go in? Because I have no clue.
The only thing I'm completely one-hundred percent sure of is that I don't want to stay at Potsdam. I love this school so much. I love the people here. I love the whole atmosphere of the school. I feel safe here. There's so much about being here that I love, but at the same time... I've been screwed over again and again and again here, and I'm sick and tired of it. So, as much as I love it here and as much as I've grown as a person here, I honestly feel like the best thing to do right now (well not RIGHT NOW, but after this year) is to leave.
But what do I do after I leave? That's the point I'm at right now.
I thought about joining the Peace Corps, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think I want to stay in New York because I don't want to pay out of state tuition, but there isn't a school I could get a Master's in special ed or as a literacy specialist in New York that is partnered with the Peace Corps and their Master's program.
New Paltz seems like the logical place to go because that's relatively close to home. It's a SUNY school. They have the two different programs I'm thinking I want to chose from.
But I'm not even sure I want to go there.
I just don't know, and I don't have that much time left to make a decision. I graduate in May. Hopefully. I need to work out something with a class I still need to take and haven't had the time to take yet.
I'm thinking about possibly getting my Master's abroad. Like maybe going to Finland or Sweden or England or Australia and getting my degree there. I've learned that Finland has the highest literacy rate in the world, and both Sweden and Finland have amazing education systems, especially for the younger grades. Doesn't it seem logical, then, to travel to either of those places and get my Master's Degree there?
Or maybe I want to take a year off. I don't know. I just don't know. Do I want to take a year and just find myself a teaching job and teach for a year, and then work on getting my Master's? Does it even make sense to do that? Financially, I think it might make sense to do that because I'll have a bit more money and I'll be able to work on starting to pay back my student loans.
But then, speaking of paying back my student loans, what if I work through Teach for America or a similar program like that? Is that the smarter route to go?
I hate having to make decisions. Small decisions are alright because, in the long run, what does it matter if we eat dinner at Lehman or the Union? Is it going to matter five years from now if I bought this t-shirt or that one? No. But big decisions? Like decisions that are going to affect my entire future? Oh my god. Because these are the kind of decisions that will matter five years from now. I need some sort of crystal ball or something to tell me what to do. I need a sign to point me in the right direction. I do believe that there are signs showing us all where to go and what we're supposed to be doing with our lives, so where's the sign? Have I seen it already? What direction was it telling me to go in? Because I have no clue.
Comments
Post a Comment