Father Figures
I loved my dad. I still do. Because he's my dad. But the thing is, when I was growing up, we never really had a lot of father-daughter moments or had that father-daughter relationship you see depicted in the media. I don't remember a time where I ever lived in the same state as him. He was is my dad, but he was also someone who I only saw maybe four or five times a year.
I wasn't oblivious to the fact that I didn't have the same relationship with my dad that my friends had with theirs. I had a great family situation - I lived just up the road from my grandparents and, for a few years, my aunt and uncle lived right in the same building at my mom, my sister, and I did... but I still found myself jealous of what my friends had that I didn't - their dad as a constant in their life. Their dad as someone they could turn to whenever something happened. Their dad as someone who could help them with homework or who would grill hamburgers/hot dogs during the summer. Their dad as someone who they went to father-daughter dances with. My sister and I usually went to our girl scout troops' father-daughter dances with our grandfather or our uncle; very rarely did our dad make the trip up to go with us. As a kid, I felt like we were the only two there without our dad. Now that I'm older, I realize that there may have been other girls there with a step-dad or a grandfather or an uncle, but at the time, I felt my sister and I were the only ones. I was jealous that my friends got to share that moment with their dads, sad that my dad wasn't there, and somehow (at the same time) also happy because I had other family members who loved me enough to share those memories with me.
Even before my dad passed away, I would find myself wondering how - or if - my life would have been different if he had been there more. I had a couple friends whose dads felt like a dad to me, but still found myself wishing it was different.
And even now, I find myself looking for a father figure in my friends' dads. A few days ago, I was helping one of my best friends and her boyfriend move into their new apartment. Her boyfriend's dad was helping us as well. At one point, we were putting together a cabinet/counter thing my friend had just bought, and her boyfriend's dad was helping me with it... and it just felt like such a "dad" thing. I never had moments like that with my dad, and I hadn't entirely realized that until that moment.
I love my dad. But I will forever be appreciative to my friends' dads for being a "dad" to me as well.
I wasn't oblivious to the fact that I didn't have the same relationship with my dad that my friends had with theirs. I had a great family situation - I lived just up the road from my grandparents and, for a few years, my aunt and uncle lived right in the same building at my mom, my sister, and I did... but I still found myself jealous of what my friends had that I didn't - their dad as a constant in their life. Their dad as someone they could turn to whenever something happened. Their dad as someone who could help them with homework or who would grill hamburgers/hot dogs during the summer. Their dad as someone who they went to father-daughter dances with. My sister and I usually went to our girl scout troops' father-daughter dances with our grandfather or our uncle; very rarely did our dad make the trip up to go with us. As a kid, I felt like we were the only two there without our dad. Now that I'm older, I realize that there may have been other girls there with a step-dad or a grandfather or an uncle, but at the time, I felt my sister and I were the only ones. I was jealous that my friends got to share that moment with their dads, sad that my dad wasn't there, and somehow (at the same time) also happy because I had other family members who loved me enough to share those memories with me.
Even before my dad passed away, I would find myself wondering how - or if - my life would have been different if he had been there more. I had a couple friends whose dads felt like a dad to me, but still found myself wishing it was different.
And even now, I find myself looking for a father figure in my friends' dads. A few days ago, I was helping one of my best friends and her boyfriend move into their new apartment. Her boyfriend's dad was helping us as well. At one point, we were putting together a cabinet/counter thing my friend had just bought, and her boyfriend's dad was helping me with it... and it just felt like such a "dad" thing. I never had moments like that with my dad, and I hadn't entirely realized that until that moment.
I love my dad. But I will forever be appreciative to my friends' dads for being a "dad" to me as well.
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