I just don't get it!

I don't understand, and I don't think I'll ever understand, why some people teach their kids that there's colors for girls and colors for boys, toys for girls and toys for boys, even TV shows for girls versus TV shows for boys. Not judging (ok, maybe I am a little..), but seriously?!?

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Conversation with Nathan (4 years old):

Nathan picks up the orange basketball and then puts it down really fast, almost like he didn't want anyone to see him holding the orange one. He looks at the black basketball for a minute, sighs, and picks that one up to play with, but keeps looking back over at the orange one.

Me (sensing that something is bothering him): What's up, bud?

Nathan: I wanna play with the orange ball.

Me: So why don't you play with it?

Nathan (sighs again): It's a girl color.

Me: No Nathan, boys and girls can both like orange. It's ok, you can play with it.

Nathan: But then I'll be a girl...

Me: Nathan, I promise you you'll still be a boy if you play with the orange basketball. You won't magically be a girl if you play with that one. I promise you. Come here, I pinky promise.

Nathan: I can play with it?

Me: Yeah.

Nathan: And I'm still gonna be a boy? Even if it's orange?

Me: Yes Nathan, you'll still be a boy.

Nathan: It's a boy color?

Me: No buddy. There's not girl colors and boy colors. All the boys and all the girls can like any colors they want to. Ok?

Nathan nods, but still looks a little "iffy" about playing with the orange ball. He comes over and sits next to me on the stairs, and we continue on with this conversation for about another five minutes.

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Now this conversation with Trisha (3 years old):

Trisha is playing in the dirt, then gets up, finds her pink Dora The Explorer bucket and runs over to me. She hands me the bucket and grabs my hand. I'm not quite sure what this new "game" she plays is, but we just find leaves and put them in the bucket... then once it's full, we dump them out and start again.

Trisha: Dora's for girls, right Kimberly? (I'm glad I spend so much time with her, because otherwise I wouldn't know what she's saying most of the time. That sentence sounded like "Doe-was fo go-uhs, white kin-brwa-ly?"... but if I wrote like that, I'd drive myself and probably anyone reading this absolutely mad.)

Me: Boys can like Dora too, TT.

Trisha: No they can't! Because Dora wears pink!

Me: Trishy, boys and girls can like pink. Boys can wear pink too if they want.

Trisha: But Dora's a girl show. Boys like Diego.

Me: T, boys can like Dora if they want to, and girls can like Diego if they want to.

Trisha: Dora has purple too. Boys don't like purple.

Me: Some boys like purple.

Trisha: If boys wear purple, they're girls.

Me: No, boys and girls can both wear purple. And boys and girls can both watch Dora and Diego. Dora goes on adventures, right?

Trisha: Yeah, adventures!!

Me: Who else goes on adventures?

Trisha (thinking): Umm...

Me: Who goes monster hunting?

Trisha: Me and you!!!

Me: And...?

Trisha: And Nay-Nay (Nathan)!

Me: Right. And you and me are girls, and Nay-Nay's a boy, right? So if girls and boys can go on adventures just like Dora does, then Dora can be for girls and boys, right?

Trisha: I don't know, Kimberly.

She was done with the conversation at that point, as the bucket was full of leaves that needed to be dumped out so we could put them back in.

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But I just don't get it!! Why are pink and purple "girl" colors? Why is it ok for a boy to play with the black basketball, but not the orange one? Why is Dora for girls only, and Diego for boys only? (Obviously I don't think any of it is for just girls or just boys, it's why other people think that that I don't get.) Why do [some] people teach their kids that certain things are just for boys/girls? Can't boys and girls both like the same colors/tv shows/toys/whatever? I just.... I don't understand it! At all.

And I know it's the kids' family that's telling them that some things are only for boys, and some only for girls, so am I in the wrong here? Am I wrong, trying to teach them the opposite of what they're learning from their family? I've been in the kids' lives for 3 years now. I'm considered family to them. They're more than just "my neighbor's kids"; they're my "adopted" little brother and sister. But obviously it's an issue their real family and I don't see eye to eye on... so am I wrong? I don't think so. I think it's important for the kids to keep open minds about everything, and not close things off just because they're "boy" things or "girl" things... you know?

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