Strangely.... calm

Not that long ago, a month, heck maybe even just a couple weeks ago, I was absolutely terrified about going away to school. I was worried about everything, and really freaking out a bit. It all felt really... overwhelming, I guess is the word. I was scared. I was nervous. I was terrified. But I was EXCITED too.

And now, now that I leave in 3 days (although right now, it's closer to 2 than 3), I'm strangely calm about leaving. It's just something that is, and nothing more.

I don't feel scared or nervous, but in all honesty, I've lost some of the excitement too.

Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to leave (but I'm going to miss my friends so freaking much! Hell, I already miss Christina and Caitlin because I haven't seen them in so long! and I'm going to miss my mom, and Nathan and Trisha and Cameron, and even my sister (but DON'T tell her I said that)).. but yeah, I can't wait to leave, but I'm not as excited as I was about it before.

I'm just... calm... about it.


And on a completely different note, I miss Candis and her mom SO freaking much. It's been six months now. Six. Months. I gave Trisha her birthday present the other day, and almost started crying because I missed Candis so much. It just... it hit me like a ton of bricks (I hate that expression, but I didn't know what else to say there), how much I miss her. See, I have this teddy bear that sings Connie Talbot's version of I Will Always Love You... and Trisha and Candis LOVE it. Or loved it. Whatever. I used to bring it downstairs for the kids to play with, and the girls thought it was the coolest thing in the world. So I got Trisha one for her birthday. And she opened her present and saw the bear and was so happy... and memories of Trisha and Candis playing with mine came back so fast and so unexpectedly that I almost couldn't even handle it.

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