Friends
Well I was watching Pretty Little Liars, but the livestream I was watching it on stopped working right after the first commercial break, so now I've got to wait a bit until I can watch tonight's episode. So I figured I'd write on here for a bit. I actually wanted to make a youtube video, but my camera isn't charged right now. So writing it is.
It hit me last night as I was falling asleep that almost my entire friend group from my first year here at Potsdam is going to be gone next year. A few are already gone, transferred to other schools. Like Sam. He was pretty much my best friend up here my first semester here, but that closeness was short-lived, and by the second semester of school, he'd moved on to other friends, leaving me behind. That hurt, but I'm used to it. He transferred to another this semester. Anna is going back to Vermont after this year. Sara is done after this year. Ben is graduating this year. Leeanna graduated at the end of last semester, but after the summer we really weren't as close any more. Chris and Luke are still going to be here (as far as I know), but we've grown apart too. I think Justin and Danielle are the last of my first group of friends here.
I mean, I've made new friends. But it's just weird to think that the first year here, we were so close and everything. We were like a family. I loved those people, and now they're (mostly) all going to be gone so soon.
I've got to stop getting so close to people.
I'm starting to change a bit. I think. I'm not as afraid of getting close to people. I'm starting to understand that sometimes, there's people who are only meant to be in your life for a little while. That doesn't make it any easier to take when they leave, but I'm starting to see that it really is just a part of life.
I think back to when me and... someone were friends, and after everything happened and we fell apart. I felt really alone because he and I shared so many of the same friends that I felt like I couldn't hang out with any of them. I was terrified that he would be there too, and I felt weird asking "is he going to be there?" (because if he was, then I wasn't.) I had a group of friends then, mostly some people from my English class, who were there when I needed them. We were never incredibly close, but they welcomed me into their group when I desperately needed a friend. It's people like them who give me hope. Who make me realize that sometimes it's okay for people to only be in your life for a short time. People are there when they're meant to be there.
I'm not a religious person. I can't get myself to believe in something I can't see. But I still believe... or, well, I want to believe anyway, that there's meaning in everything. That everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's all meant to be. Good or bad, it's meant to happen and there's a lesson to be learned from it. Sometimes I wonder if our lives are all planned out from the very beginning, if everything that happens does because that's the way it was set to be. Can we break from that plan? Or is an attempt to break the plan in the plan, and actually a part of the plan? That's not religion, is it? I mean, no, right? Because it's not believing in any sort of God? But it's a belief in something, isn't it?
It hit me last night as I was falling asleep that almost my entire friend group from my first year here at Potsdam is going to be gone next year. A few are already gone, transferred to other schools. Like Sam. He was pretty much my best friend up here my first semester here, but that closeness was short-lived, and by the second semester of school, he'd moved on to other friends, leaving me behind. That hurt, but I'm used to it. He transferred to another this semester. Anna is going back to Vermont after this year. Sara is done after this year. Ben is graduating this year. Leeanna graduated at the end of last semester, but after the summer we really weren't as close any more. Chris and Luke are still going to be here (as far as I know), but we've grown apart too. I think Justin and Danielle are the last of my first group of friends here.
I mean, I've made new friends. But it's just weird to think that the first year here, we were so close and everything. We were like a family. I loved those people, and now they're (mostly) all going to be gone so soon.
I'm starting to change a bit. I think. I'm not as afraid of getting close to people. I'm starting to understand that sometimes, there's people who are only meant to be in your life for a little while. That doesn't make it any easier to take when they leave, but I'm starting to see that it really is just a part of life.
I think back to when me and... someone were friends, and after everything happened and we fell apart. I felt really alone because he and I shared so many of the same friends that I felt like I couldn't hang out with any of them. I was terrified that he would be there too, and I felt weird asking "is he going to be there?" (because if he was, then I wasn't.) I had a group of friends then, mostly some people from my English class, who were there when I needed them. We were never incredibly close, but they welcomed me into their group when I desperately needed a friend. It's people like them who give me hope. Who make me realize that sometimes it's okay for people to only be in your life for a short time. People are there when they're meant to be there.
I'm not a religious person. I can't get myself to believe in something I can't see. But I still believe... or, well, I want to believe anyway, that there's meaning in everything. That everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's all meant to be. Good or bad, it's meant to happen and there's a lesson to be learned from it. Sometimes I wonder if our lives are all planned out from the very beginning, if everything that happens does because that's the way it was set to be. Can we break from that plan? Or is an attempt to break the plan in the plan, and actually a part of the plan? That's not religion, is it? I mean, no, right? Because it's not believing in any sort of God? But it's a belief in something, isn't it?
Comments
Post a Comment