This time last year, I was counting down the days until Christmas. Just four more to go. And you know what? It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. I mean... the tree is up and decorated, and the presents are under it. I've been listening to an insane amount of Christmas music all month (but then again, I listen to Christmas music all year round because I love it, so....) I got presents for the kids. I mailed Candis's on Monday; she should have it by tomorrow. And I'm giving Nathan and Trisha their's tomorrow, hopefully. If I see them, hopefully I will. I'm home, and with my family... but it just doesn't feel like Christmas. It doesn't feel all warm and Christmas-y. Maybe it's that there's no snow on the ground, it's almost 50 degrees outside, and thunder-storming. Hey, universe! I live in NEW YORK. It's DECEMBER. There's supposed to be SNOW on the ground. We're supposed to be getting SNOW STORMS, not thunderstorms. Dumb weather. I don't know. Maybe if there was snow, it would feel like Christmas. But right now, there's no snow and it doesn't feel like Christmas. At all.
It's been exactly ten months since Candis and her mom left. Ten months since I've seen them. I don't know what to say other than that I miss them. And I've said that a million and ten times since they've left. There's so much I wish I could say, but I just don't have the words to say it.
I got my grades for the semester. Not good. Not good at all. I nearly cried. I was in a terrible mood, and nothing could cheer me up.
Nothing. Until I went on youtube and saw that Connie Talbot had uploaded a new video. It was a video of her singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You." The video thumbnail showed a smiling Connie holding her dog, Minty, close. The thumbnail alone made me smile because it's a cute picture. Because I'm a fan of Connie, and her smile is contagious. It's impossible to not smile when you see a picture of her, and see just how happy she is, living her dream. I saw Connie and Minty, and I'm not quite sure what I expected the video to be, but I wasn't expecting it to be what it was. Watch the video below:
It made me smile and laugh. If you're having a bad day, watch that video. If it doesn't cheer you up, then there's really no hope for you. Seriously though, she's playing with her dog and laughing and having a good time, and still completely effortlessly sounds amazing when she sings. I don't understand, you guys, I just don't understand how her voice is even possible. I've been a fan of her since I saw her Britain's Got Talent audition video. Through youtube videos and her forum and twitter and everything, I've watched her grow up these past few years. I've heard her voice change from an adorable childish (6-year-old) voice to an incredible adult-ish voice, and she's only 11. And I still don't understand how she's even possible.
But anyway. Grades. Next semester is going to be so much better. I got so screwed over this semester that it's not even funny. I knew physics was going to be bad. But history? I thought for sure I'd get a B in that class. And I would have. But I got ZEROS for TWO assignments that I turned in. I'd been asking why I had zeros since right after midterms, and kept getting told that it was just a glitch and that it would be fixed before final grades came out. I emailed the TA's for the class three days before grades were due in and told them I still had zeros for those assignments, and asked why they were marked as zero. I did the assignments completely. I turned them in on time. I spent the time and effort to make sure I was doing them right when I was doing them. And I got marked with zeros. Which brought my grade WAY down. Passing. But not by much. Like I said, physics... I knew that one wasn't going to be good. But I thought for sure I'd get a B in history. And I probably would have if I hadn't been given marks of zero for two big assignments. Like... I asked them right after midterms and they said it would be fixed. And it never was. It never got fixed, and my grade shows that. My GPA this semester shows it. And it really sucks.
But next semester... next semester is going to be good. I'm so excited for next semester. I'm taking Children's Literature, Young Adult Literature, Cooperative Activities (it's a gym/PE class), School Health, Math for Elementary Ed. I, and European History and Geography. The history class is another one like the one that I was in this semester. It's a hybrid course (which I HATE. I hate hybrid courses with a firey passion that burns brighter than ten thousand suns), and it's probably going to be another class with more than 200 people in it. And if I turn in an assignment and get a mark of zero, I'm going to be in the teacher's office or the TA's office every day until it's fixed. Because I'm not getting another grade like the one I got. Cooperative Activities should be fun. I know someone who took it, and she said you just play games aimed a 5 to 7 year olds. Trisha's 3. Nathan's 4. Cameron is, I think, 8. I've known these kids, watched these kids, played games with these kids, for almost three years now. I think I can handle playing games aimed at 5-7 year olds. Math shouldn't be too bad. I'm not sure what to expect with the health class. But I'm really really really excited for the English/Lit classes. I love English. It's been my favorite class since middle school. I took 4 English classes my senior year of high school just because I wanted to. I took an English class every semester at Columbia Greene. I just love English. I love reading. I love writing. I don't know why, I just do.
I just want to be back up at school. I don't like being home. It's so much easier to be me when I'm not here. At school, I'm just me all the time. And here, here I just feel like I'm playing a part. It's not real, it's all pretend. I mean, I'm real with my friends here.. but here as in "home," I'm just playing pretend. The dorm feels more like home. I'm so much happier there.
Also, it's December 21 2011 today. There's only one year left of the world, if you believe in that. Personally, I don't. But if you do, make sure to make this last year worth it. Live it up.
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