The right email at the right time.
Back in October, when I was in Alabama for my dad's funeral, I met my godfather for (basically) the first time. Before October, the last time I had seen him was when I was still a toddler, so I really don't remember having known him before. He was one of my dad's best friends and I'm so glad that I met him (although I wish the circumstance had been different). I wish he had been in my life while I was growing up, but he still lives out in California and I haven't lived there since I was only a few months old. Even though I've only met him once (not counting when I was a baby/toddler), and only spent a couple of hours with him, I know that I can text, email, or call him if I need anything. As I told my mom several times down in Alabama, my parents did a good job picking him as my godfather.
Since October, I've had good days, but I've also had bad days. And really bad days. I don't know what it is exactly that makes one day easier or harder than another, but today was a day that I was really missing my dad. If this was during the school semester, I would have texted one of my friends and gone to hang out with them for a while. But it's not. I'm home. Who could I call? Nikki was home and I didn't want to upset her, so I just stayed quiet and tried not to think about anything. Mindlessly watched a movie on Disney channel and then a few episodes of Reba. I wanted to call Mark, but what would I say? If I said it out loud, if I said "I miss my dad," I would have started crying, and once I start crying, I don't know how long it will take me to stop. I wanted to text him, but couldn't decide if that would be awkward or not.
Finally, I decided I would email him. I opened up my email account, clicked to compose a message, started typing... when I realized I didn't have him in my email contacts. I remembered he'd texted me his email address so I would have it. I looked through my texts, only to find that I must have deleted that text last time I cleared out my inbox. Defeated, I let the universe win. I didn't know what to do. I closed my laptop and flipped channels until I found a movie to watch. Soul Surfer, not that it matters.
After dinner tonight, I checked my email. I had an email from Mark. "Pictures of your dad" was the subject line. The email and the pictures were exactly what I needed.
I feel like he must've known, maybe subconsciously, that I needed to hear from him. His email could not have come at a more perfect time. Maybe my dad let him know.
Since October, I've had good days, but I've also had bad days. And really bad days. I don't know what it is exactly that makes one day easier or harder than another, but today was a day that I was really missing my dad. If this was during the school semester, I would have texted one of my friends and gone to hang out with them for a while. But it's not. I'm home. Who could I call? Nikki was home and I didn't want to upset her, so I just stayed quiet and tried not to think about anything. Mindlessly watched a movie on Disney channel and then a few episodes of Reba. I wanted to call Mark, but what would I say? If I said it out loud, if I said "I miss my dad," I would have started crying, and once I start crying, I don't know how long it will take me to stop. I wanted to text him, but couldn't decide if that would be awkward or not.
Finally, I decided I would email him. I opened up my email account, clicked to compose a message, started typing... when I realized I didn't have him in my email contacts. I remembered he'd texted me his email address so I would have it. I looked through my texts, only to find that I must have deleted that text last time I cleared out my inbox. Defeated, I let the universe win. I didn't know what to do. I closed my laptop and flipped channels until I found a movie to watch. Soul Surfer, not that it matters.
After dinner tonight, I checked my email. I had an email from Mark. "Pictures of your dad" was the subject line. The email and the pictures were exactly what I needed.
I feel like he must've known, maybe subconsciously, that I needed to hear from him. His email could not have come at a more perfect time. Maybe my dad let him know.
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