Making a Difference
As I sit here mentally preparing myself for the teaching certification exam I'm taking tomorrow morning, I find myself wondering if I have made a difference in any of my students' lives. It might not be easy to see how I managed to make that connection; sometimes I make sort of weird connections that I have to explain to other people for it to make sense to them.
Do you see this, this stone?
It's a healing stone. I've written about it once before on here. Last semester when I was with my fourth graders, we made healing stones to relate back to the book the kids were reading. The main character in the book was being bullied, so the activity that the kids did was to pretend that they were Danny (the main character) and make a healing stone with the word that he would write on it. They had to think about Danny and what he was like, and what they thought he would need. I got answers like "brave," "fearless," "strong," and other words similar to that. About halfway through the activity, one of the students asked "I know we're doing this for Danny, but it works for me too. Can it be for me too?" Of course you can!
I got to wondering, because I know that when I take the Academic Literacy Skills Test tomorrow morning I will have my Fearless stone in my pocket to remind me to be fearless and not nervous about the test, if making the healing stones made any sort of impact on my nine year olds' lives. Did that in-class activity matter to any of them? Or was it just that, just an in-class activity?
I haven't had that much classroom experience. I've been in the classroom with first graders two semesters ago and with my fourth graders last semester. In high school, I helped out in a kindergarten class during my study hall. In fifth grade, my class had reading buddies in one of the kindergarten classes.
With the first graders I was with, there was one little girl I worked one-on-one with during reading. Did I make an impact on her life? Did I help her? Will she remember me in the future? I worked with two kids during math. Have they already forgotten? There was one little girl who reminded me SO MUCH of my past self. One little girl who I saw myself in when I looked at her. And she was the biggest little teacher's pet to me. Did I make a difference in her life?
And what about the kindergartners whose class I helped out in? I was in tenth grade when I spent my study hall down in the kindergarten. Those kindergartners are in seventh grade now, eighth grade this fall. I remember how it was the best feeling in the world to see their little smiling faces and know that they WANTED me to be there. They LIKED that I was there. They liked getting to show me their work and things they had brought in from home. They liked pulling me aside as they were supposed to be cleaning up from snack so they could show me which book on the shelf was their current favorite. But did I make a difference in any of their lives? In the grand scheme of things, did it really matter that I was there?
But I realize, as I wonder about the differences I may - or may not - have made, that it shouldn't really matter to me if I've made a difference in their lives. Because whether or not I made a difference, they certainly did. All of those students, they have shaped who I am as a person. They have, unknowingly, made me ever more certain that this, teaching, is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I suppose you can't really ever know if you've made a difference. You can hope that you can, though.
I've been reading Chicken Soup for the Teacher's Soul and so many teachers have made such great impacts on their students' lives. And I think it's true - kids spend so much time with their teachers while they're growing up. Teachers have so much influence on who a child becomes. Me? I think that part of the reason I want to be a teacher comes from the fact that I had such great teachers while I was growing up. I had teachers who cared. I had teachers who wanted to see their students succeed; it always felt like it genuinely mattered to some teachers that they see their students succeed. I don't know if any of my past teachers read this (probably not), but if any of you do, thank you for everything you've done. Thank you for being you. Especially Mr. Rowe in third grade and Ms. Duksa in fifth.
Do you see this, this stone?
It's a healing stone. I've written about it once before on here. Last semester when I was with my fourth graders, we made healing stones to relate back to the book the kids were reading. The main character in the book was being bullied, so the activity that the kids did was to pretend that they were Danny (the main character) and make a healing stone with the word that he would write on it. They had to think about Danny and what he was like, and what they thought he would need. I got answers like "brave," "fearless," "strong," and other words similar to that. About halfway through the activity, one of the students asked "I know we're doing this for Danny, but it works for me too. Can it be for me too?" Of course you can!
I got to wondering, because I know that when I take the Academic Literacy Skills Test tomorrow morning I will have my Fearless stone in my pocket to remind me to be fearless and not nervous about the test, if making the healing stones made any sort of impact on my nine year olds' lives. Did that in-class activity matter to any of them? Or was it just that, just an in-class activity?
I haven't had that much classroom experience. I've been in the classroom with first graders two semesters ago and with my fourth graders last semester. In high school, I helped out in a kindergarten class during my study hall. In fifth grade, my class had reading buddies in one of the kindergarten classes.
With the first graders I was with, there was one little girl I worked one-on-one with during reading. Did I make an impact on her life? Did I help her? Will she remember me in the future? I worked with two kids during math. Have they already forgotten? There was one little girl who reminded me SO MUCH of my past self. One little girl who I saw myself in when I looked at her. And she was the biggest little teacher's pet to me. Did I make a difference in her life?
And what about the kindergartners whose class I helped out in? I was in tenth grade when I spent my study hall down in the kindergarten. Those kindergartners are in seventh grade now, eighth grade this fall. I remember how it was the best feeling in the world to see their little smiling faces and know that they WANTED me to be there. They LIKED that I was there. They liked getting to show me their work and things they had brought in from home. They liked pulling me aside as they were supposed to be cleaning up from snack so they could show me which book on the shelf was their current favorite. But did I make a difference in any of their lives? In the grand scheme of things, did it really matter that I was there?
But I realize, as I wonder about the differences I may - or may not - have made, that it shouldn't really matter to me if I've made a difference in their lives. Because whether or not I made a difference, they certainly did. All of those students, they have shaped who I am as a person. They have, unknowingly, made me ever more certain that this, teaching, is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I suppose you can't really ever know if you've made a difference. You can hope that you can, though.
I've been reading Chicken Soup for the Teacher's Soul and so many teachers have made such great impacts on their students' lives. And I think it's true - kids spend so much time with their teachers while they're growing up. Teachers have so much influence on who a child becomes. Me? I think that part of the reason I want to be a teacher comes from the fact that I had such great teachers while I was growing up. I had teachers who cared. I had teachers who wanted to see their students succeed; it always felt like it genuinely mattered to some teachers that they see their students succeed. I don't know if any of my past teachers read this (probably not), but if any of you do, thank you for everything you've done. Thank you for being you. Especially Mr. Rowe in third grade and Ms. Duksa in fifth.
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